We're Collecting Rubbish

Synopsis

Dawn’s big cleanout

Location – By the purple car in a large, empty car park.

Characters
Ian, Dawn, Jonti

DAWN is emptying the car of lots of rubbish.

JONTI
Having a clear out, Dawn?

DAWN
No. It’s more than that. We’re downsizing. Rationalising, getting ourselves in shape. We’re supposed to be collecting brothers and sisters, Instead we’re collecting rubbish.

DAWN holds up a poster of Van Gogh’s sunflowers before throwing it out.

DAWN
You can’t think in a car full of half-eaten croque monsieurs.

JONTI
Where’s IAN?

DAWN
He’s gone off to find a croque monsieur shop. He wanted to think about things. And frankly, I wanted him out of the way. Binning everything requires a woman’s touch. Plus all this is stuff he wanted to keep.

IAN (OS)
What are you doing?

DAWN
Just tidying up a bit.

IAN appears and indicates the pile of rubbish.

IAN
Are you throwing all my things out?

DAWN
No. We’re just not taking it with us. You can get most of it on the internet when you get back if it means that much to you.

IAN
You can get French Monster Munch on the internet? I don’t think so.

IAN starts collecting armfuls of his debris. He’s clearly upset.

IAN
I’m keeping all this. It’s my life. Or what my life’s become.

DAWN (talking as she tidies)
Ian, we’re on a trip round the world looking for twenty-seven siblings. We’re blowing as the wind finds us, but backed up with scientific research and clinical navigation from me. We’re looking for people we’ve never met, some of whom don’t want to meet us. It could take years and we could end up with nothing. So I’m not asking you to throw your life away. Just all… that…

DAWN looks. The giant pile of rubbish has gone. JONTI swings the camera round the big car park. Yes, it’s all completely vanished.

IAN
No. I’m keeping it. End of… Story.

IAN pats the Bisto tin which seems heavier. He clips the lid closed with a little effort.

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