Tough On Crime

The street. Evening. DAWN and IAN are walking along.

As they stroll, a male YOUTH runs past and grabs DAWN’s bag. But DAWN, quick as a flash, holds onto it. The YOUTH tugs and DAWN resists. They remain there for a second, each with a vice-like grip on the bag. It’s an impasse.

YOUTH
I ‘ave your bag, lady. Or…

THE YOUTH attempts a throat-cutting mime but by doing so he takes a hand from the bag. DAWN tugs it and the YOUTH has to abort the mime hurriedly to maintain his grip.

DAWN
Ian! Act!

IAN
Erm, Jonti?

DAWN
Ian! DO something. Tackle him. Pin him!

IAN rummages frantically in his tin.

IAN
I have got a pin in here.

JONTI
Beat him up!

IAN (turning to JONTI, annoyed)
YOU beat him up!

JONTI
I can’t intervene. This is real life drama. Smack his French head in.

IAN comes to a decision. With a strangled cry he kicks at the YOUTH. It has no effect.

DAWN
That’s it, IAN. Righteous fury! Again!

IAN kicks again and by lucky chance gives the YOUTH a dead leg. The YOUTH drops to the pavement, letting go of the bag.

IAN, now in a fog of red mist, is about to administer more kicks to the curled-up YOUTH.

DAWN
Stop, Ian! Your work here is done.

The YOUTH is in pain.

YOUTH
My, ow you say, leg she is numb. Aiee!

IAN bends over him and the YOUTH flinches and crawls away, his leg clearly still useless.

DAWN
You did well. You were the alpha male there, Ian. I like to see that. And, crucially, you knew when to stop. Also important.

IAN
I got his wallet, too.

IAN holds it up. It’s packed with stolen credit cards and euros.

IAN
Dinner’s on me.

DAWN
No. That’s stolen money. I need you to curb your violent tendencies in future Ian. We’re not turning our search for family into a continental crime spree.

DAWN takes the wallet and dumps it into a bin. She takes Ian’s arm and they walk off.

JONTI focuses on the wallet in the bin. Just before the fade we see his hand reach for the wad of euros.

[Nice, but Dawn's the thief, from what we saw in early episodes. Also I think Ian might be a bit more righteous and useful when attacked. Assuming it overlaps with his fantasy life, of course. And the put upon often develop weirdy responses to physical threats - see him go for Roger Log MEP!]

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