There's No I In Failure

Synopsis
DAWN and IAN use tried and tested means to forward the sib-hunt.

Location
Spain

CAST
Ian, Dawn, Jonti, Madame Overy, a fairground-type fortune teller.

DAWN
Ian? Progress report.

IAN
We’re making progress.

DAWN
Good. What about the other avenues we agendised?

IAN
They were empty. Lots of parked cars.

DAWN
Then let’s implement phase B.

IAN
To run alongside phase A?

DAWN
They’ll run consimultaneous, yes. You’ll have to jointly manage both.

IAN
I can wear both hats. It’s going to be tight.

IAN literally puts on two baseball caps. They are indeed tight

JONTI
What’s Plan B?

DAWN
Phase B, Jonti. There is no Plan B. Because I don’t fail. There’s no ‘i’ in failure.

IAN
We call it ‘falure.’

DAWN
We don’t talk about it.

IAN
No.

DAWN
Phase B is the tried and tested police method. We’re employing a medium to use mentality to track our siblings.

JONTI
You’re trying the supernatural?

DAWN
It’s not supernatural. We just don’t understand how it works. But it’s got close to a 100% success rate.

IAN
It’s like the Nazgul knowing where Frodo is.

DAWN
Exactly.

They stop outside a booth or tent. A sign reads “Madame Overy”. There’s a picture of her. Bella Emberg with a gypsy scarf.

JONTI
She’s a medium?

DAWN
She’s a bit more than that. She’s very good.

DAWN, IAN (nervously holding a cross like a vampire hunter) and JONTI go in.

MADAME OVERY
You didn’t tell me about cameras! Out!

IAN
Didn’t you foresee…?

MADAME OVERY
Out! No cameras!

JONTI leaves.

FADE OUT AND IN

DAWN
That was a reality check. Money well spent.

IAN
She said one of our siblings is dead.

DAWN
She actually said he was lying cold, underground. He might not be dead. He might be a miner.

IAN
Or buried alive, like David Blaine.

DAWN
It’s possible. Madame Overy would only concentrate on two siblings owing to the ebb and flow of the pernicious life force she operates under.

IAN
And it cost a fortune. Luckily it was search for one, get one free day.

DAWN
One is underground as we said. And the other is surrounded by buildings. She saw a spired clock tower. A big wheel. A river and a white dome. A city beginning with L. It doesn’t get clearer than that.

IAN holds up a travellers’ guide of Lisbon.

IAN
She also told me there’s the corpse of a much-loved cat under my uncle’s porch. She threw that in for free.

JONTI
Does your uncle have a porch?

IAN
Yes.

DAWN
And you didn’t tell her that, Ian. She couldn’t have known that. And sceptics say mediums are too vague.

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