Taken with the idea of filming as well as getting used to being filmed, IAN buys a small DV video camera.
Ian, Dawn, Jonti.
Ian, what are you doing?
IAN (filming him. As he does so, Jonti’s camera wobbles as he trips slightly)
Medium close up, panning, zoom out and fade. It’s a wrap. Next shot. Lights. Rolling.
IAN stops filming and starts reviewing the footage on the little video camera.
This is going to make things very difficult for me. It’s a little self-referential.
IAN (not listening)
Ha, Jonti, you tripped there. Dawn! Come and have a look at this.
DAWN joins IAN.
Dawn, this breaks the rules.
DAWN (not listening)
Ha ha, let’s see him trip again.
Listen! Only I can film this journey.
But you can’t interfere with us.
If he does, I’ll have all the evidence in here.
IAN pats the camera.
DAWN (to IAN)
Start filming. This could be get combatational.
IAN does so.
Firstly, Jonti, to stop us filming is intervention. It’d compromise your objectivity as a film maker and make you look stupid in the faces of your peers.
But how can I film you if you’re filming me?
It’s not Ghostbusters, Jonti. If the viewfinders cross they won’t explode, killing us in a hail of heavy neutrons.
You must film us warts and all. And if we sink to the level of film-makers ourselves, it’s only fair to document it. I am not ashamed.
Don’t worry Dawn. If you are ashamed I’ll edit it out.
IAN and DAWN are on a bridge looking out across a river. JONTI is filming quite an arty, clever shot of them. Perhaps music plays. The JONTI notices IAN’s camera near him, perched on the edge of the bridge’s ledge. He slowly moves towards it, filming DAWN and IAN, then there’s a metallic scrape and a splash. After the first noticing of IAN's camera, we stay onDAWN and IAN throughout.
I didn’t see anyone the whole time we were there.
You were staring out across the river. It looked lovely, by the way. Meditational.
Dawn, did you see a hooded boy on a BMX bicycle?
No. But I was looking inwards, at the river we all sail down. That river called life.
It was the Meuse, actually. So Jonti, you actually saw this cloaked cyclist take the camera?
Why didn’t you intervene?
Luckily you filmed him, though. Be good footage, that.
Nope. Listen, who's making this documentary, me or you?