Learning The Language

Synopsis

Ian and Dawn are about to meet a new sibling and break the news to him

Location

Another country, in a location with lots of people around

Activity

Breaking the news to a new sibling

Script

Dawn:

We're going to meet [insert sibling], we rang his office earlier and we spoke to his secretary, she was very nice. We asked her if we could meet him here at the [insert place] . We wanted to make sure that there's lot's of people about. You know what it's like, like when you go on an internet date you want to be safe.

Jonti:

Have you ever been on an internet date Dawn?

Dawn:

No, as if!

Jonti:

Ian?

Ian:
No but I did meets "Granetars" a character from this online game I used to play. It was at a convention in Manchester. Nice chap.

Dawn:

Obsessed with his games, bless him.

Jonti:

So when will [siblings name] be here?

Dawn:

well the ETA should be roundabout twenty minutes, [taps watch] we're a bit early.

Time passes a once busy place becomes quieter or maybe film Dawn and Ian standing for an hour just as the sun is setting around them

Jonti:

It doesn't look like he's turning up.

Ian is in the background looking in his tin pulls out a little book and starts to read, Dawn is deep in thought then turns to camera.

Dawn:

He'll be here Jonti, he'll be here..[she spots somebody walking towards them] Here he is! is it him? I bet it is. it is! He's got to be a Jones, look at his bone structure.

The sibling walks up to them

Sibling:

[in broken english] Dawn? Ian?

Dawn:

[Siblings name] Your Dad's not your Dad. Your Dad's a sperm donor and I'm your sister and Ian is your brother.

Sibling:

Eh?

Dawn:

Oh no, [panics] he doesn't understand. hold on.. (Shouts and as she speaks she starts to do mime)YOUR DAD'S NOT YOUR DAD! YOUR DAD IS A SPERM!.

Ian interupts Dawn, he has that book in his hand he cooly places it in his back pocket, steps forward and puts his hand on Dawns shoulder

Ian:

I've got this one Dawn…. [in fluent foreign language, subtiles at bottom of screen]Your Dad's not your Dad. Your Dad's a sperm donor and I'm your brother and Dawn is your sister.

As Ian speaks Dawn grins to camera with pride

Dawn:

He's multilingual too

The sibling pauses and stares blankly

Sibling:

I understood her the first time. Ian, that was very good it is good to see and English man learning to communicate so fluently in my language for that gesture I would be proud to call you brother [he is face to face with Ian and grips Ians upper arms holding him. He then looks at Dawn] most people shout.

Dawn tries to redeem herself

Dawn:

I can say "Sperm" in 27 languages

Sibling:

Really? and in my tongue?

Dawn:

Sperm

Sibling:

Hmm, very good…Let us go eat, we have much to talk about.

they start to walk.

Sibling starts to talk to Ian in his language.

Ian cannot understand a word he is saying, but nods as if he does

Ian:

Erm? [in siblings language] Yes

Sibling does a big booming laugh and slaps Ian on the back and puts his arm around his shoulder as they walk.

Jonti and Dawn follow. The camera turns to Dawn//

Dawn:

[whispered] He's a bit snide. I bet he couldn't say "sperm" in Polish. hmm making me look stupid. I hate that.

Jonti:

I wonder where we're going?

Dawn:

Well where ever it is I hope they play Only Fools and Horses on the TV

Jonti:

Luverly Jubberly!

Dawn:

[Dawn chuckles] Cushti!

Jonti:

[Jonti chuckles] Er, you plonker.

Dawn:

[serious] Okay Jonti, there's a line.

FADE OUT

Next scene The Meal

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