Ian Vs Predator

Synopsis
Ian decides to defend the family.

Location
Middle of nowhere.

Cast
Ian, Dawn, Carston.

Carston stops in the middle of nowhere. While he and Dawn take stock, Ian, still saying ouch a lot from his wound, gets industrious with the knife, cutting branches, whittling, digging holes etc. DAWN and CARSTON watch him as they talk.

DAWN (to CARSTON)
It’s equally as hard for all of us. You not telling us anything.

CARSTON
Yeah? That just makes it harder for me.

DAWN
So then it’s harder for me and Ian too.

CARSTON
Again, making it even harder for me.

DAWN
It’s a vicious circle, isn’t it? And you’re trapped in one corner of it.

CARSTON
I’m sorry I was rude.

DAWN
Yeah there was no call for it. Politeness costs nothing. This car, though, doesn’t. It cost something, Carston. Something.

CARSTON
Ian, what are you doing?

IAN
Defence. My before-dad in the shop taught me things. Ambushes, chemical attack, double entry book-keeping. Life skills aimed at killing, mainly.

CARSTON
What have you made then?

IAN
Defensive stockade. There’s a walk-in cantilever noose here. Razor-spring branch trigger trap here. Tripwire ant-bomb here. And finally, ankle-snapping ferret holes here, here and over there. That one’s got the added surprise of some excrement in the bottom.

DAWN
Ahh. Still got diarrhoea, Ian?

IAN
A bit.

CARSTON
You’re a good man to have in a crisis, Ian. A good man. We’ll sleep safe tonight.

IAN
That’s the idea.

From the road a car drives towards them menacingly.

CARSTON
Oh no! Go! Go!

CARSTON and DAWN leap into the purple car. Ian runs into his stockade.

DAWN
Come on Ian, you div!

IAN runs out of the stockade, pausing to delicately and slowly avoid the manifold traps he’s set. As soon as he’s free he jumps into the car, which drives off spurting dust.

JONTI hides near the stockade, still filming shakily. A little boy comes into shot with his mother.

MOTHER
Here, Jose. You pee-pee here. Is safe.

They move round to the stockade where the hiding Jonti can’t quite see them. There is the sound of traps springing, wood thumping etc.

BOY
Ow!

MOTHER
Ow! Oof!

A pause. A car door opens and closes.

FATHER (OS)
Maria? Maria? Jose?

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