I Have To Be Punished

Synopsis
Dawn and Ian experience their first falling out.

Location
Spain, somewhere.

Cast
Dawn, Ian, Jonti

IAN sits in the car with JONTI. DAWN is standing some way off, looking away pointedly. Her back radiates annoyance.

IAN
Yeah it’s been quite nice, actually. The silence. It’s like when you leave the telly on, but you've turned the sound down. You know it's on, but it's peaceful.

JONTI
So why has she sent you to Coventry?

IAN
We're in Spain.

JONTI
No, why is she not talking to you Ian?

IAN
Well what it was, I criticised her driving. Erm I said "Mirror, signal, maneuver Dawn" and when she didn't do them in the right order I said "Dawn, you mad cow, what are you doing!" and now see [points with hand] she's in a mood. Because I was straight, and I told her like it is. erm.. Damn straight.

JONTI
No you didn't.

IAN
No I didn't, I bought a magazine. And she found it.

JONTI
What was the magazine about, Ian?

IAN
Erm, you know.

JONTI
Oh right. You didn’t strike me as…

IAN
Everyone needs a hobby. I put a lot of effort into fantasy.

IAN holds up a Spanish wargaming Lord of the Rings fantasy type magazine.(like Warhammer)

JONTI
Oh OK. And now Dawn’s not talking to you. I don’t know if this is good or bad.

IAN
As I say, it’s a relief not to hear her 24/365. It’s sad I have to be punished, though.

JONTI
No, for the documentary. I don’t know whether a silent stand-off will be riveting or, you know…

IAN
Boring.

JONTI
Mmm.

IAN
I’m going to be friendly with those people over there. It’s what Dawn would tell me to do,…. if she was speaking to me.

IAN gets out of the car, at the same time DAWN gets into the car. She slumps into her seat and huffs.

JONTI
Aren’t you being harsh on Ian? Punishing him like this?

DAWN
It’s not punishment, it’s a lesson Jonti. Teachings from the school of Fort Knox.

JONTI
Hard knocks.

DAWN
Knox , knocks.

JONTI
Who's there?

DAWN
Very good. I tell you what hurts is the fact he didn’t feel able to tell me. We’ve got so close. And he lets his base, animal instincts come between us. So I have to…

JONTI
Punish him.

DAWN
I call it education. And he does listen, he takes it all in, he's like a sponge forever absorbing new things.

DAWN watches IAN through the windscreen. He’s having a great time with his new friends. He’s miming something bizarre and they’re all laughing.

DAWN
[looks at watch] I think I’ve punished him enough. I’m going to forgive him in [waits for second hand to reach twelve]. five minutes.

FADE

IAN is in now the back of the car.

IAN
Dawn I want to say sorry. It’s time for me to grow up. I’ve got a family now. So…

IAN rips up the fantasy wargames magazine.

DAWN
What’s that?

IAN (slowly trying to read the now ripped, Spanish title)
Juegos de la fantasía y de la guerra hoy.

DAWN
I’m talking about this.

DAWN pulls out a Spanish porn magazine. [pixelate magazine]

IAN (slowly trying to read the Spanish title)
Boobs Grandes y Sluts Hambrientos.

DAWN
Disgusting Ian, Disgusting.

IAN
It isn’t mine.

DAWN
How can you read that in a, a, one handed manner, knowing our dad was a sperm donor? [PAUSE] What do you mean it isn’t yours?

IAN
This is mine. Juegos de la Fantasía y de la Guerra Hoy. [holds up ripped cover]

DAWN
are you lying Ian?

IAN
No

DAWN
Are you not telling the truth?

Ian has to think

IAN
Erm? yes, I mean no..what was the question?

JONTI
Dawn,.. He’s not lying.

DAWN and IAN stare at JONTI.

JONTI
It's mine

DAWN
Oh Jonti, (Chuckles) You're such a lad.

DAWN. IAN reaches for the porn mag. The camera wobbles as Jonti tries to stop him. Then, to the sound of DAWN starting to laugh, it is abruptly switched off.

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