(I loved the fact that the latest appearance of the globe was smaller than the last one because it lit up this is what inspired the following bit.)
Shrinkage:
DAWN GETS INTO THE DRIVERS SEAT BUT IS REALLY HUFFING AND PUFFING TO GET IN
Dawn: Bloody hell, have you pushed this car seat all the way forward Ian, I feel very constrained almost shackled.
Ian: No I don’t think so, the adjuster bar is just under the …..
IAN LEANS FORWARD AND DOWN TO TRY AND HELP DAWN, SHE TAPS HIM AWAY WITH HER HAND
Dawn: I’ll do it Ian.
DAWN TRIES TO ADJUST THE SEAT
Dawn: No it’s all the way back maybe I’m putting on weight, am I putting on weight Ian?
Ian: Maybe it is the car that is getting smaller?
Dawn: (laughs) maybe it is your brain that is getting smaller.
IANS CARDY IS ON THE BACK OF DAWN’S SEAT, SHE HUFFS TAKES IT OFF AND THROWS IT AT IAN
Dawn: Look will you put this thing on or stick it in the back no wonder I can’t get comfy.
IAN REALLY STRUGGLES TRYING TO GET THE CARDY ON HIS ARMS ARE FLAYLING AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE
Ian: It seems smaller I think the peppy pop was the last straw for the fibres.
Dawn: You did dry it on the engine Ian. It’s probably shrunk.
IAN FINALLY SORTS HIMSELF OUT BUT HE IS STILL TUGGING AT THE ARMS
Dawn: Right Ian so we are making our way back, get the globe, lets sort out the route.
Ian: Ok.
IAN REACHES IN TO THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT AND TAKES OUT ONE OF THOSE TINY GLOBES THAT DOUBLES AS A PENCIL SHARPENER, IAN SQUINTING TRIES TO MAKE OUT THE WRITING ON THE TINY GLOBE
Ian: So we are here and we need to get to….
Dawn: What the hell is that Ian?
Ian: What?
Dawn: That isn’t your globe.
Ian: Isn’t it?
Dawn: No I’m sure your globe was just big enough to fit under your arm, it certainly wouldn’t have gone in your pocket.
Ian: I don’t know I thought this was the one. Where is ours then?
HE IS LOOKING AROUND IN THE CAR FOR THE OTHER GLOBE AGAIN HE KEEPS KNOCKING INTO DAWN
Dawn: Ian will you pack it in it’s like being in the car with a gibbon.
Ian: Sorry i’m just trying to reach around the back of you for a look.
Dawn: Ian can you just sit back down and pass me my sunglasses it’s really bright in here.
DAWN GOES BACK TO THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT AND PULLS OUT A SMALL PAIR OF CHILDS SUNGLASSES AND GIVES THEM TO DAWN, SHE TRIES TO PUT THEM ON AND THEN SCREAMS.
Dawn: Ian, what is all this? Everything is shrinking the car, your globe my sunglasses.
Ian: I think my only pair of socks have had it as well
IAN GETS A REALLY TINY PAIR OF SOCKS OUT OF HIS POCKET THEY ARE FROM AN ACTION MAN OR BARBY DOLL OR SOMETHING SIMILAR
Dawn: What….You know what is happening Ian don’t you?
Ian: Is it to do with the change in altitude and humidity?
Dawn: Its mucking about with that Ouija board, we’ve caused a rift in the space time continuum. We have introduced a tear into the fabric of our perceived existence. We’ve created a huge a hole, an enormous gaping chasm that we have to find a way of closing.
Ian: Excellent, it’s like the film fantastic voyage but in reverse. In this case we are staying the same size and everything around us is shrinking.
MJK: Good film that.
Dawn: We have to get another Ouija session going I’ve got some spirits on the other side that I reckon could help out.
DAWN STARTS TO WONDER OFF
Ian: Where are you going Dawn?
Dawn: Off to get some stickers to make another Ouija board on snowy. You stay here. Keep applying a tensile force onto snowy to stop it shrinking any more.
Ian: Ok Dawn (HE IS TUGGING AT SNOWY, WHEN DAWN GETS A LITTLE FURTHER AWAY HE STOPS)
MJK: Well I can’t believe how well that went Ian, I mean for a practical joke that must be one of the best I’ve seen. I don’t think I imagined it would get that big a reaction
Ian(LOOKING A BIT BAFFLED): I’m a bit surprised myself I have to say. Who’d have thought sticking my flip flop into the mechanism at the back of the seat, buying a small globe, pair of socks and sunglasses from pound stretcher would enable me to pull off such a dramatic yarn.
PAUSE
MJK: You are in trouble when she finds out you’ve been taking the mick.
Ian: I know what am I going to do?
MJK: Your bed mate.
FADE IN
FADE OUT
DAWN CAN BE SEEN WALKING BACK FROM TOWARDS THE SHOP, SHE HAS A BAG OF STUFF
Dawn: Ian you have stopped stretching the car.
Ian: My arms were getting a bit tired.
MJK: What have you got in the bag Dawn?
Dawn: A few joss sticks and some crystals, gems and minerals. If I’m going to act as the spirit guide I need to get my mind in gear.
Ian: (WHO HAS GONE BACK TO TRYING TO RE-STRETCH SNOWY) They had all that stuff in the garage shop?
Dawn: Yep, the little fella in there was very helpful. He was even smaller when I left the shop than when I went in, I could only see his forehead over the counter. I think we need to get a move on here.
MJK: Dawn, Ian was playing a practical joke on you. Your sunglasses and the globe are in the boot. Ian bought all that small stuff from a pound stretcher shop yesterday.
DAWN LOOKS A BIT STUNNED AND SLOWLY TURNS TO IAN
IAN RUNS OFF AND DAWN CHASES AFTER HIM
Dawn: You get back here Wallock, you are no brother of mine.
The End:
Dale Griffiths.
2008 08 28
page revision: 0, last edited: 28 Aug 2007 08:40