2008 08 28

(I loved the fact that the latest appearance of the globe was smaller than the last one because it lit up this is what inspired the following bit.)
Shrinkage:
DAWN GETS INTO THE DRIVERS SEAT BUT IS REALLY HUFFING AND PUFFING TO GET IN
Dawn: Bloody hell, have you pushed this car seat all the way forward Ian, I feel very constrained almost shackled.
Ian: No I don’t think so, the adjuster bar is just under the …..
IAN LEANS FORWARD AND DOWN TO TRY AND HELP DAWN, SHE TAPS HIM AWAY WITH HER HAND
Dawn: I’ll do it Ian.
DAWN TRIES TO ADJUST THE SEAT
Dawn: No it’s all the way back maybe I’m putting on weight, am I putting on weight Ian?
Ian: Maybe it is the car that is getting smaller?
Dawn: (laughs) maybe it is your brain that is getting smaller.
IANS CARDY IS ON THE BACK OF DAWN’S SEAT, SHE HUFFS TAKES IT OFF AND THROWS IT AT IAN
Dawn: Look will you put this thing on or stick it in the back no wonder I can’t get comfy.
IAN REALLY STRUGGLES TRYING TO GET THE CARDY ON HIS ARMS ARE FLAYLING AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE
Ian: It seems smaller I think the peppy pop was the last straw for the fibres.
Dawn: You did dry it on the engine Ian. It’s probably shrunk.
IAN FINALLY SORTS HIMSELF OUT BUT HE IS STILL TUGGING AT THE ARMS
Dawn: Right Ian so we are making our way back, get the globe, lets sort out the route.
Ian: Ok.
IAN REACHES IN TO THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT AND TAKES OUT ONE OF THOSE TINY GLOBES THAT DOUBLES AS A PENCIL SHARPENER, IAN SQUINTING TRIES TO MAKE OUT THE WRITING ON THE TINY GLOBE
Ian: So we are here and we need to get to….
Dawn: What the hell is that Ian?
Ian: What?
Dawn: That isn’t your globe.
Ian: Isn’t it?
Dawn: No I’m sure your globe was just big enough to fit under your arm, it certainly wouldn’t have gone in your pocket.
Ian: I don’t know I thought this was the one. Where is ours then?
HE IS LOOKING AROUND IN THE CAR FOR THE OTHER GLOBE AGAIN HE KEEPS KNOCKING INTO DAWN
Dawn: Ian will you pack it in it’s like being in the car with a gibbon.
Ian: Sorry i’m just trying to reach around the back of you for a look.
Dawn: Ian can you just sit back down and pass me my sunglasses it’s really bright in here.
DAWN GOES BACK TO THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT AND PULLS OUT A SMALL PAIR OF CHILDS SUNGLASSES AND GIVES THEM TO DAWN, SHE TRIES TO PUT THEM ON AND THEN SCREAMS.
Dawn: Ian, what is all this? Everything is shrinking the car, your globe my sunglasses.
Ian: I think my only pair of socks have had it as well
IAN GETS A REALLY TINY PAIR OF SOCKS OUT OF HIS POCKET THEY ARE FROM AN ACTION MAN OR BARBY DOLL OR SOMETHING SIMILAR
Dawn: What….You know what is happening Ian don’t you?
Ian: Is it to do with the change in altitude and humidity?
Dawn: Its mucking about with that Ouija board, we’ve caused a rift in the space time continuum. We have introduced a tear into the fabric of our perceived existence. We’ve created a huge a hole, an enormous gaping chasm that we have to find a way of closing.
Ian: Excellent, it’s like the film fantastic voyage but in reverse. In this case we are staying the same size and everything around us is shrinking.
MJK: Good film that.
Dawn: We have to get another Ouija session going I’ve got some spirits on the other side that I reckon could help out.
DAWN STARTS TO WONDER OFF
Ian: Where are you going Dawn?
Dawn: Off to get some stickers to make another Ouija board on snowy. You stay here. Keep applying a tensile force onto snowy to stop it shrinking any more.
Ian: Ok Dawn (HE IS TUGGING AT SNOWY, WHEN DAWN GETS A LITTLE FURTHER AWAY HE STOPS)
MJK: Well I can’t believe how well that went Ian, I mean for a practical joke that must be one of the best I’ve seen. I don’t think I imagined it would get that big a reaction
Ian(LOOKING A BIT BAFFLED): I’m a bit surprised myself I have to say. Who’d have thought sticking my flip flop into the mechanism at the back of the seat, buying a small globe, pair of socks and sunglasses from pound stretcher would enable me to pull off such a dramatic yarn.
PAUSE
MJK: You are in trouble when she finds out you’ve been taking the mick.
Ian: I know what am I going to do?
MJK: Your bed mate.
FADE IN
FADE OUT
DAWN CAN BE SEEN WALKING BACK FROM TOWARDS THE SHOP, SHE HAS A BAG OF STUFF
Dawn: Ian you have stopped stretching the car.
Ian: My arms were getting a bit tired.
MJK: What have you got in the bag Dawn?
Dawn: A few joss sticks and some crystals, gems and minerals. If I’m going to act as the spirit guide I need to get my mind in gear.
Ian: (WHO HAS GONE BACK TO TRYING TO RE-STRETCH SNOWY) They had all that stuff in the garage shop?
Dawn: Yep, the little fella in there was very helpful. He was even smaller when I left the shop than when I went in, I could only see his forehead over the counter. I think we need to get a move on here.
MJK: Dawn, Ian was playing a practical joke on you. Your sunglasses and the globe are in the boot. Ian bought all that small stuff from a pound stretcher shop yesterday.
DAWN LOOKS A BIT STUNNED AND SLOWLY TURNS TO IAN
IAN RUNS OFF AND DAWN CHASES AFTER HIM
Dawn: You get back here Wallock, you are no brother of mine.
The End:
Dale Griffiths.