2007 07 31

Other ideas for Dawn's birthday

Dawn wakes up in the car with the others. She’s got a big smile on her face but the others seem tired and sad with their situation. Dawn opens a bag and puts party hats on both of their heads and asks them why they might be wearing them. She tells them it is her birthday and that whatever their situation they were going to enjoy the day if it bloody killed them. They don’t seem keen.

Now out on the town. Although it is Dawn’s birthday, after a few drinks she seems sad. It is because she is remembering her only really serious boyfriend Stevie Steve. He died 15 years ago in a bizarre diving accident.

Carston and Ian are trying to console Dawn.

Ian:
Do you want to hold my tin Dawn, it helps me when I'm a bit sad.

Carston:
Bloody hell Ian. What is it babe, has someone upset ya cuz I'll deck em you know I will.

Dawn:
‘No. I always get a bit sad about this time on my birthday. It reminds me of the great times I had with Stevie Steve, he’s dead now. He was the love of my life and the best stand up comedian and high board diver you could ever meet, he started off extreme sports/ gave it its name and put it on the map he was the founder of the “would you jump off a bridge if I asked you to?” group”

GETS A PICTURE OUT OF HER POCKET

‘This is a pic of him 2nd or third from the left of centre, that’s the famous Mostar bridge in Bosnia. He did a pentuple backwards somersault before plunging into the beautiful Nevetna river. Golden gate, Sydney Harbour – he’d done them all, he never turned down a challenge. If you type ‘pentuple back somersault’ into google do you know what you get?’

Ian:
‘page not found’

Dawn:
‘No, you get a googlewack, you get this picture and underneath, Stevie steve RIP not pieces.’

Carston:
‘A fitting tribute’

Dawn:
‘He took one bet too many’

Ian:
‘Did he get caught up in underwater currents or something like that?’

Dawn:
‘No, someone bet him he couldn’t dive off the Michael Wood’s footbridge. If it hadn’t been rush hour he might have been alright. It was a tandem jump with another fella called Paul, just 17 years old, came from Romford. Paul told him he’d done it several times before, that it would be alright.’

Ian:
'Should have put a clause in the group title, "Would you jump off a bridge (provided it is over a reasonable depth of water necessary for the drop height) if I asked you to?" Then he wouldn't have to take the bet, would have been null and void. '

Carston:
'Not quite the same ring to it eh Ian?'

Ian:
'No'

CARSTON LOOKS LIKE HE'S HAD A REVELATION
Carston:
‘Hang on, hang on babe, can't be, can't be, that'll be the Paul Evans I was telling you about the ouija board and all that, the one who jumped off a footbridge and killed himself, just outside Southend so he jumped off with your fella, hells bells. What an amazing coincidence shit man this is just too much, much too much. I need to sit down. Stevie Steve hang on babe I think I remember him.’

Dawn:
‘No. This was a different 17 year old Paul from Romford who killed himself by jumping off a footbridge. I think his surname was Smith. This was over the M5 in Gloucestershire, but I agree it is almost a coincidence.’

Carston:

‘Oh I see, see Ian you should never jump to conclusions.’

Ian:

‘Have you got a picture of you know…’

Dawn:

‘No I can’t bare to keep any close up photos of Stevie, it’s too painful.

Ian:

‘No I mean of the footbridge’

CARSTON NUDGES IAN HARD IN HIS ARM, HE GRIMACES AS IT IS THE ONE HE WAS SHOT IN. DAWN SMILES

Dawn:

‘Yes but only the one’.

DAWN GETS ANOTHER PIC OUT OF HER POCKET

Ian:

‘Nice footbridge.’

Dawn:

‘It is’.

Ian:

‘You don’t often see warren trusses like that on a footbridge anymore. The picture look very worn. You must have loved him very much?’

CARSTON LOOKS AND NODS IN AGREEMENT.
Carston:

‘No, it’s nice that. And it’s definitely not the one in Southend.’

Dawn:
‘I did Ian and no babe (TO CARSTON) it's not Southend…(SHE TAKES THE PIC BACK AND KISSES THE BRIDGE) He was a really quiet fella you know, we didn’t have to talk.’

Ian:
‘A bit introverted like me, a bit shy? Maybe that’s why you liked him?’

Dawn:
‘No not really. He was nothing like you Ian. He was very sociable. He was just born without any vocal chords, lack of selenium in the womb. His mom didn’t eat any brazil nuts during pregnancy not a single one. Now that is just irresponsible’

Ian:
‘My mom was allergic’

Jonti:
'I thought you said he was a stand up comedian'

Dawn:
'What?'

Jonti:
'You said he was a diver and a stand up comedian.'

Dawn:
'He concentrated on visual humour. The audience where constantly in hysterics even if he could talk you wouldn't have been able to hear anything'.

Carston:
‘Still. Bit of a prat trying to dive off a footbridge.’

Dawn:(starting to smile)
‘Yeah, fancy another beer. Shall I teach you the song I made up about Stevie’

Carston:
'Nah, lets get a beer'

After this there seems to be much merriment and rejoicing, they all really let their hair down.

Cut later on to Dawn in a phone box, she is putting coins into the slot and is talking to Mrs Steve about how she really misses Stevie, she is certainly a little worse for wear. Mrs Steve is telling her she must stop doing this every year on her birthday otherwise she will have to call the authorities.

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