2007 07 22


Dawn suffers a crisis of identity as it dawns upon her that she may be a child of Wales, spiritual home of the Jones, she examines her views of the land of song.


Outside a bookshop, from which Dawn fleas at the start of the scene.


Dawn, a passing three person Welsh cultural embassy. Jonti.


Dawn fleas from a bookshop into the street where she is caught in Jonti's camera.
Dawn: I was in there when it hit me. All those Joneses, all those Joneses and all in Wales. I had no idea.
Jonti: Didn't you think you might be Welsh? You must know it's a Welsh name.
Dawn: Not really. I knew my dad was a wanker, obviously, but this is a lot to take on. Who are all these Welsh people anyway?
Jonti: Tom Jones! He's a Welsh Jones.
Dawn: No, I read that he changed his name - he probably changed his nationality too, he's probably Finnish. I wish I was Finnish.
Jonti: Finished?
Dawn: No, Finnish - they're so pale you can almost see through them and they've got the best phones in the World. I think Nokia's a Finnish greeting, you Nokia on someone's door and then they won't Nokia you because they're you're friend. They're a very spiritual people.
Jonti. Oh. I can't think of many Finnish people. But I can think of lots of Welsh people, all called Jones!
Dawn: Yeah? Who?
Jonti: Aled Jones, the snowman man, I think Vinnie Jones the Snatchman has a Welsh granny, Jones the steam off Ifor the Engine, all Welsh - perhaps we should go to Wales.
Dawn: Do you think so?
Jonti: Yes, you might find some kind of Jones peace there.
Dawn: Okay, I'll try.
(Dawn closes her eyes and thinks of Wales)
Dawn: Nothing's happening. I'm thinking of Aled, but I just want to chuck his cheeks, he's a cheeky chappy.
Jonti: And a chunky chappy too.
Dawn: Don't you talk about my Aled like that, look you. What's a Zeta Jonti?
Jonti: I think it's a kind of planet, like a red dwarf. Why?
Dawn: I don't know, it just sort of popped into my mind.
Enter, the three man Welsh cultural embassy, who simply sing in male voice close harmony, We'll keep a welcome.

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