2007 07 18 A trip to Earl's Court

Synopisis (based on a true story)

Dawn and (girl)friend decide to go to an exhibition on alternative therapies (crystal healing, hypnotherapists and general quackery) at London's Earls Court.

The exhibition includes some exclusive sessions in rooms off the exhibition venue at certain times of the day, which include speed dating and "20 ways to meet your perfect lover". Both Dawn and friend are not in a permanent relationship now, but as Dawn did speed dating recently she opts to sign up for the "20 ways to meet your perfect lover" seminar. Her friend decides to do the speed dating to see what turns up.

After trawling round the exhibition for a while it is time for their sessions to start. They quickly look at the little plan they were given when they arrived - it says Speed dating is room G4, and the other session is the other side of the hall. Both are scheduled to last about half an hour.

Dawn ambles over to her "20 ways to meet your perfect lover" session leaving her friend to find her way to the speed dating. Dawn discovers she's already tried 19 of the 20 ways without success, and number 20 is "sit back and wait for them to arrive". Non-plussed she leaves a little early to seek out her friend.

When Dawn gets to room G4 she is a little puzzled. Clearly the session is still going on, but all the blinds are closed. While she waits outside a few people go into the room, but what is strange is they are all middle aged grey or balding men. Surely this can't be gay speed dating she thinks, they would have had to advertise it as such. She tries to peek through the blinds again, and then decides to enter the room.

It is full of men, all middle aged, generally fat and balding, and a guy standing in the middle with a large thin pink object. The men instantly shut up as Dawn enters the room and just stare at her. No sign of Dawn's friend here. Embarrased Dawn quickly leaves the room and shuts the door behind her.

Worried about her friend and the experience she just had, she re-reads the map she was given and discovers the speed dating wasn't in room G4, it was in Annex G4, which is in another part of the building. The workshop she had just burst in on was titled "Love your penis workshop"…..

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