2007 06 25

Synopsis

Ian and Dawn are back in the UK. In Hull.

Location

A street in Hull opposite a fish and chip shop.

Characters

Ian, Dawn and their new sibling, Graeme.

Story

At the start of the episode, Dawn is talking to the camera. She is expecting to meet her new relative on the street, opposite a fish and chip shop. She comments on the greasy food. "You'd never fit that in my arteries". Ian is eating sausage and chips, with gravy with his fingers.

Graeme shows up and apologises for being late. He is a lairy, Liam Galleger-type. "Alight darling, jesus you're hotter then you sounded like on the phone. How about you tell me this important business (he makes air quotations) and then we can go for a drink. You never know, you might get lucky." He smiles and mimics slapping an arse to the camera.
Dawn: "I'm your sister"
Graeme stops miming "Jesus fuck, are you sure?".
FADE IN
FADE OUT
Dawn is explaining her situation to Graeme. He looks serious. A kid walks by in the background. He holds up a finger and tells her to wait a second. He immediately runs over the the kid and starts beating him up. Dawn looks horrified, Ian steps forward, then back, then decides to help the kid, he runs after Graeme (camera man in tow). He jumps on him, but is immediately knocked off and just lays on the ground in the foetal position. The camera gets knocked over and goes black.
CUT TO PARK BENCH/POLICE STATION/CAR DEPENDING ON BUDGET CONSTRAINTS.
Ian is sat holding a flannel to his head. Dawn is sat there.
DAWN TO CAMERA: "I suppose, when I set out, I didn't expect it to be all plain sailing. I didn't expect them to all be like me." CAMERA ZOOMS IN "I mean, I just wanted to know I'm not (she starts to cry) alone".
FADE OUT
END

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