The last 30 seconds

Summary:

How would you end the Joneses' adventure?

The last 30 seconds

Doctor Barnardo 1187967904|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Dawn and Ian have been on the go for almost 3 months now, searching for their 26 other siblings. So far, they have met Roger Logg, Jean Jamboneau, Angel (mother of the departed sister Snowy), Carston Whelk, Eanie Mancini, Zzabur Cerebus and, of course, Jack Nibbs.

So, we were wondering if you, The Joneses' community, had any ideas about what the last 30 seconds might look like?

Is there any ending you always wanted to see? Something that's never been seen before? Something that flips everything on its head? Go on, stretch yourselves!

last edited on 1187968001|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Doctor Barnardo + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Chrissyboyuk 1187990739|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Part of me wants the dad to be some sort of wierd evil genius (sort of like Ben from lost) whos DNA has spourned the variety of characters we have met. he is perhaps the head of some form of maffia oporating his doing from the back of a sweet shop. … hm or butchers… (i am thinking aloud here)

another part of me wants him to be a dirty old man/washed up rock star that never really made it that big and donted sperm for a quick buck.

then theres the part of me that wants him to be the owner of a flower shop.

- i am tired and i think i need bed :S

Chris

Re: The last 30 seconds

Chrissyboyuk 1187990917|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

doh! should have psoted this in the dad section.

The last thirty seconds should definately have some form of cliff hanger. Part of me doesn't want them to find thier dad. that or he's dead. and they want to know how… and its sort of left up to us… or another season!

or perhaps dawn discovers she took the wrong list from the doctor.

Re: The last 30 seconds

robmyers 1188046517|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Some sort of emotional closure for Dawn & Ian.

Possibly Dawn actually getting a gaming reference right.

"Well you've certainly got enough experience points from this to go up a level or two." or something.

Or Ian getting a woo reference right.

"This will be good karma."

Or custard pies. Why not?

Re: The last 30 seconds

conley 1189004463|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

I want something that leaves everyone hanging on a cliff. Maybe Tina is dead when they get to her, and this Cherry thing is really serious. Something to make everyone really riled up so that they harrass imagination to finish it. Also perhaps another Jones has been following them and pledges to help them, so there will be three Joneses when season 2 starts up. I think this Jones should have a certain special ability. In fact, one sibling already has one.

OK, here is my last 30 seconds of season 1:

Ian and Dawn finally reach the destination where Tina is supposed to be

Ian opens the door, but neither Dawn nor Michael can see inside

Ian: O…o God Pulls out inhaler, and uses it

Dawn: What is it? Runs to the door O…o God. Grabs Ian's inhaler and uses it

Michal: Runs to the door, revealing Tina, quite beaten and dead O…o God. Takes the inhaler for Dawn and uses it

Dawn: There's a message.

Ian: What? What does it say?

Dawn: It's a riddle of some sort. It's a poem.

Dearest Ian and Dawn,
You are wasting your time
This is not your mission
This mission is mine

In the house of the blind
Someone at the door will knock
There is more for you
Under the clock

Go on your way
You've had your fun
You are not a Jones
I am the only one.

Ian: Clock? Blind? What does it mean?

Dawn: I don't know Ian, I don't know!

Woman's voice: The map is under the rug.

Camera moves to reveal Zzabur

Dawn: Zzabur! What are you doing here? What are you talking about?

Zzabur: That is what she said to me before she died. I will join you. I am coming with you

This all of course is followed by the imediate release of 2 torrents. One for season one in avi (xvid + mp3) and one for season one in ogg (theora + vorbis), both in the original resolution

This is all really dark, but I think you get the idea of what I want. Something suspenseful to make sure this doesn't get completely dropped. An extra permanent character to look forward to (one with a special ability). Torrents.

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1189113857|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

This is ace!

Re: The last 30 seconds

conley 1189272130|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Thank you :)

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1188073274|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

In the penultimate episode there could be some sort of car crash.

Ian: "Dawn watch out for that Elk !"
CRASH

In the last episode, Dawn comes too in some distress people are around her and they pull her out of snowy, she gestures to them that she is ok. A fella called Jim is there at the scene, he is a lawyer/ambulance chaser. He saw the incident and told her that she was in for a hell of a compensation settlement from the local zoo (this is where the Elk escaped from). There is no sign of Ian. Dawn has hurt her leg a little, Jim offers to buy her a coffee, Dawn agrees with thanks. They go into the coffee shop, Dawn settles down and is seen flicking through a paper that is left on a table, Jim goes to the counter to order drinks and muffins.

He comes back to the table, Dawn closes the paper. Jim asks Dawn a few questions and Dawn summarises what has been happening the last three months, Cherry Le Dojo, Carston Whelks, Z.Cerebus, Eenie Mansinie etc. Jim is all ears, it is an amazing story. He tells Dawn that she should take the zoo to the cleaners for letting the deer out, Dawn tells him that she is only interested in finding all her family and isn't interested in money. She excuses herself telling him she needs to go and make a quick call. She hobbles out of the coffee shop.

Jim, a bit bored picks up the paper that Dawn was reading and is sort of flicking through it until something catches his eye, you could maybe hear this in voice over as he is looking at the classified ads section.

"Do you have problems with your drains? A bit smelly? Embarassed to invite people round? Why not call Carston Whelks of Romford plumbers on ……"
"I'm a bit fat but have a bubbly personality, full of life, looking for a similar minded individual. Call Cherry Le Dojo on ……"

He keeps turning the pages.
"Zzabur Cerebus on free transfer from Kettering town to Aston Villa took the wrath of the Villa supporters as he let in 6 goals in the first half…"

It slowly dawns (no pun intended) on Jim what has happened, he drops his mocca frapucinno on the table. A shot to Dawn hobbling along the road outside, she starts to smirk to herself and then suddenly her hobble stops and she start walking normally again.

Obviously (if you've seen it) this is sort of a take on The Usual Suspects which was a film that freaked me out when I saw it (not that I really understood it). It would certainly confuse the hell out of everyone, including me.

Re: The last 30 seconds

Maxley 1188146159|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Ian breaks down and he admits he's not Ian. He's Tugg Biggins, wanted by the Metropolitan Police for aggravated credit card fraud and second-attempt murder. He ran from Dawn because, as a man who's spent 36 of his 38 years inside, it's what you do to authority. When he realised he could be completely out of the country until the summer ended and the heat died down, he jumped at the chance. But because his secret is out and Dawn and MJK have to die. But… can he do it? Tugg is now more Ian than Tugg, so decides he wants to stay a Jones. He wants to be Dawn's half-brother and throw the police of the scent forever. And with his credit cards fraud skills, they need never be poor again.

IAN/TUGG
How about it Dawn? Be rich and spend your life with me, or die here with Michael like a miserable dog in this forgotten, lonely swamp near Chichester?

last edited on 1188201947|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Maxley + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1188159547|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Hi Maxley, really like the idea about Ian not being Ian but a credit card fraudster think that would really work well I mean the guy waving at him from the model shop could have been a potty old loser dressed as a roman and not necessarily the man that brought Ian up. And uncle Roy, well fraudsters don't work alone.

Would be nice to see a bit of a scene where Ian flips back into his 'real' personality, something could make him lose it like someone at a checkout telling him 'sorry your credit card has been declined', this would probably be red rag to a bull. He probably has loads of spare credit cards stiched into the lining of his cardigan.

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1188508135|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

I had a thought a while back that Ian wasn't Ian, Ian was just a bloke that worked in the shop. his life revolved around the shop and home, that was his universe. When he recieved the call from Dawn he took the oppurtunity to go out and find out what it was about as he thought Dawn had a kindly voice, something he'd never really had heard in his life.

This would answer questions like why he ran, maybe he felt he'd gone to deep and panicked.

Why does Ian keep his tin so close? why does he take his passport with him when they were in France? to prove he wasn't a tramp? Maybe he didn't want Dawn/Jonti to see the passport and find out who he really is.

Who's Cherry? Maybe she is the girlfriend of the real Ian, that's why when questioned he doesn't want to talk about it as 1/ he is nothing to do with Cherry he is just a bloke who works at her boyfriends shop to her and 2/ The real Ian and Cherry are half brother and sister, that would be an awkward topic of conversation.

He talks about his mum death, but maybe his dad died too.

Dawn's Ian could just be someone who has spent a lot of time alone hence the nervousness when meeting new people.

Dawn has made her Ian a stronger person so all in all it could be a happy ending.

Edit: Just saw Roy calling Ian, Ian maybe he's not Ian Wollak, maybe he's Ian something else

last edited on 1188605017|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Dave Saunders + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1188556341|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

some added thoughts

Ian:

Dawn I've got something to tell you

Dawn:

What Ian?

Ian:

Your Dads not your real Dad, you are the product of sperm donation with 27 siblings scattered around Europe..

Dawn:

I know that Ian

Ian:

Let me continue during this journey we've had many adventures. I've been wrapped in bubble wrap, I lost my shoes to a brother who insulted me, I gained a brother who wasn't my brother, I've even deficated on bed sheets. Something I'd never do back home. I've even grown a beard and now I've got to tell you something..

Dawn:

Go on Ian

Ian:

Your half brothers not your real half brother..

Dawn:

Which one?

Ian:

Me Dawn

Dawn stands there in shock

last edited on 1188560709|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Dave Saunders + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1188163344|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

The scene cuts to some sort of hospital mental ward. There is some elevator music in the background and a few people dancing around in circles, clearly inmates of the facility. The employees at the mental hospital are all wearing the obligatory white coats. Ian is dressed as a doctor, he is seen injecting a lady with long blond hair strapped to a chair in the side of the neck with a hypodermic syringe (you only see the back of the woman’s head). The Zzabur Cerebus character is an intern stood by taking notes on a clip board.
Dr Stevens (Ian): This of course is one of the most tragic cases we have seen. This is Natasha Tranton, she was raised by Wolves or Canis Lupis to use their Latin name, in Yakutsk. It’s a long story I won’t go into all the details. It was very difficult when she first came to us, wolves are used to hunting in packs and living off large ungulate hooved animals. As part of her integration we got two of the kitchen staff to dress up as a pantomime cow, we strapped sausages around their middle and then let Natasha loose on them.
Dr Raj (Zzabur): And do they still do this?
Dr Stevens: Natasha tore them to shreds, since then we have had to keep her sedated if it appears that she is going to turn aggressive. I feel guilty sometimes. If I hadn’t hurt my back playing squash I would have been the back end.
Dr Raj: She must find it very difficult, wolves are extremely family oriented.
Dr Stevens: She was one of a pack of 27. She must seem very isolated here. I think she often dreams of times gone by. Just the other day in her sleep she starting howling. The sound of music was on the ward TV, the music seemed to soothe her.
Dr Raj: Maybe it reminded her of the wide open spaces and cascading mountains she is so eager to return to.
Dr Stevens: I doubt that she is too familiar with the plot line of the movie Dr Raj.
There is a knock on the door, a woman enters but you can’t see her in the shot.
Dr Steven: Hello Mrs J, here to give Natasha her wash and brush up?
Mrs J (in a strong west country accent for no particular reason): That’s right Doctor. Right Natasha, lets get you cleaned up for dinner.
Dr Stevens(to Dr Raj): Mrs Jones gives some comfort to Natasha with her bed baths. Wolves groom each other often as part of their social interaction. She sees Mrs J as the omega female. This is the bitch in the pack that all younger female wolves aspire to.
Natasha seems to partly come round from her sedated state at the sound of Mrs J’s voice. She sort of yelps and whimpers at the same time. Mrs J now comes into the shot, Mrs J is Dawn.
The camera pans round to the woman in the chair, from the front she has a very hairy face, just like a wolf in fact.
Mrs J: Right then Natasha lets start off by giving you a little shave shall we. We don't want that nasty Dr Logg calling you a hairy dog again do we?

Re: The last 30 seconds

chihuahuapedal 1188177795|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Ian goes off to the loo, when he comes back he starts telling dawn that foreign toilets just don't have that english tang in the air. Dawn's horrified and starts to sob, she then calls her dad over, and they both stand there staring at Ian as if he were mad.

Dawn appears with chocolate all over her face, eating one of those kinder eggs things, talking about how she's convinced that she's going to get a windmill with working sails. Dawn stops dead in her tracks. It's another Dawn. It's her Dad.

Dawn comes round to find herself sitting at a table in a fancy pastry cafe. Ian tells her that the news is better than they could have dreamed of.

Not only is this man her father, and not only is this other Dawn her twin sister. But Dawn is one of identical quintuplets. Apparently the father chose THAT Dawn to keep because her cries reminded him of Lulu.

Dawn starts to sob, and is full of those pitiful mewling questions that people have at times like this. But why?- How?

Ian leans in and in his most caring beardy voice he explains "When you identical quintuplets were born it was an absolute miracle, but your father, he didn't want the publicity. Like a pools winner or an MP who likes being spanked".

A blurry photograph is produced, Dawn's trembly hand takes it and she stares at it intently. There they are, the five identical baby girls.

---

Re: The last 30 seconds

chihuahuapedal 1188211840|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

add on:

we then see five still photographs of the other four "Dawns" each with a summary of their life story.

Fade to black.

Fade up from black.

We see a still of Ian's identical twin. He's posing on the bonnet of a gold-plated Baby Bentley, outside a Beverley Hills mansion. He's blinged up like Jimmy Saville. Cue music: Some heavy over-produced rap tune with eminemian-style whiney rap. The camera zooms in on the twin's feet. He's wearing sensible Clark's shoes.

(This is all about the idea that no matter how fractured you might think your identity is in the gene pool of your family, there is always another layer of fragmenting waiting to happen. Dawn and Ian, believing they were chasing their individual places in this sperm donor's trail of fertility, are actually left with a ticket to a whole new circus of identity crisis to sort out)

Re: The last 30 seconds

bhercules 1188324857|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

They find daddy jones only for them to be surrounded by armed police. Dawn thinks that he has betrayed Dawn and Ian. Dawn pulls out a gun and caps daddy. The armed police shoot Ian.

Close Up of Dawn smiling strangely.

Shots Ring out.
Cut to Black.

Theme from Blake 7.

Re: The last 30 seconds

bhercules 1188324955|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Either that or it could just be them listening to journey in a restaurant.

Like the "BEST TV SHOW EVER" PLC.

last edited on 1188425789|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by bhercules + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Chrissyboyuk 1188333842|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

lol! actualy i quite like that. sometimes the simplest things are the most touching and real.

i would quite like it to end on a gentle or emotional note. something that sort of suggests how far dawn has come an how much developing a relationship with ian has meant to her. simple but nice.

Chris

Re: The last 30 seconds

bhercules 1188425387|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

And then the person behind watj should be interviewed a million times saying how they're not sorry for not having a proper ending despite having umpteen years to figure one out.

last edited on 1188425415|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by bhercules + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1188462266|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Ha yeah the last 30 seconds could just be nothing really happening at all, Dawn is doing her nails and Ian is picking his ears and they are not talking to each other and then it's like Michael goes, 'right that's it, that's the end of the last episode. And the others go 'That's it right fine well that's it then'. Then they just go back to doing nothing.

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1188342599|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

(Thought I’d try an alternative ending that wasn’t quite as weird and doesn’t involve a hairy faced werewolf woman, lol).
DAWN AND IAN ARE WALKING BAREFOOT ALONG A BEACH SOMEWHERE AT DUSK AWAY FROM THE CAMERA TOWARDS THE SETTING SUN, THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS
Dawn: Me and Mom used to walk like this, holding hands. Reminds me of when we used to stay at my Auntie’s caravan at Camber Sands.
Ian: The man that brought me up used to walk with me on his shoulders at Camber Sands, we had a beach hut there.
Dawn: Really I didn’t know you used to holiday there.
Ian: Yeah, for years.
Dawn: Just think Ian, we could have passed each other on the beach, our paths may have crossed before. I’d be the little 6 year old girl holding mommie’s hand and you’d be the boy on daddie’s shoulders. We might have even looked into each other’s eyes and smiled.
Ian: Yeah….except that I would have been 15 then. I don’t think I came down that year, I was still traumatised after doing my GCSEs. And also I would have been a bit heavy, don’t think dad’s back would have taken it.
Dawn: Well maybe when I was much younger then eh?
Ian: Yeah, maybe.
Dawn : I’ve had the most fantastic 3 months with you. Ian. We’ve had good times and very good times.
Ian: And the odd slightly bad time, with the bullet and stuff.
Dawn: But mostly great times. And anyway it’s not over, as Humphrey Bogart once said ‘Tomorrow is another day’.
Ian: I don’t think he was in Gone with the Wind but I know what you mean.
Dawn: Was that the Kate Bush one then.
Ian: Yeah that’s it.
END.
Dale Griffiths

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1188391421|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Dawn and Ian come back from there journey disheartened that they have only found a few of their siblings. Dawn opens the door to her home to reveal that all 27 siblings (apart from the dead/imprisoned/ on the run from the mob ones) standing there to welcome her and Ian home.

They have all come to find Dawn, they were all on the same journey. Dawn realises that she didn't need to search, she just needed to be found.

Re: The last 30 seconds

Maxley 1188476054|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Ah, yes, something rather simple and touching. I like that a lot too.

DAWN and IAN are walking along having a 'what have you learned' conversation, along the lines of:

DAWN
Wherever you go, your family are there. In the faces of strangers, the bars, the badly-parked cars. Even that rat-boy scrote who tried to lift my purse reminded me of Auntie Elaine before she fell off a ladder. Same bone structure. Your family are always with you.

IAN
Yes, and I'm surprised at how graffiti-free the Croatian forests were. And how hot their pavements got. And how, when you least expected it, someone would ignore you and you'd feel better about being different. And some people were nice too. Italians, chiefly. And that Dutch lady.

As they walk along spouting this sort of thing, they pass various throwbacks similar to things they encountered on the journey - a pavement portraitist, a bottle with a message in it, a baseball cap, clogs, boxes of veg, a guitar player (which can form the music to this), waffles, a cowbell and, from on overflowing bin, lottery tickets bearing the number 27 and finally, a torn fly-poster from someone else called Jones looking for 27 siblings.

DAWN and IAN, engrossed in their conversation, see none of these things as they walk back to the car and drive off, leaving Ian's tin by the side of the road. The car slows as they realise, then accelerates again without stopping.

last edited on 1188480612|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Maxley + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1188503134|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Ian and Dawn are pondering on what they've done. Ian reaches into his tin and pulls out an envelope

Ian:

I want to show you this Dawn

Dawn:

What is it?

Ian tears open the envelope and pulls out a passport.

Ian:

It's my passport, my new passport, the man who brought me up, erm Dad sorted it out for me, look.

Ian shows her, not looking at it himself, Dawn looks at the passport and takes it in.

Dawn:

(tearfull) Oh Ian, it's got your real name on it

Ian:

I know, I'm a Jones now,Ian Jones.

Dawn hugs Ian with the love only a brother and sister can have for each other

Dawn:

I love you Ian

Ian:

I love you too, erm sis

Dawn:

Ian?

Ian:

Yes

Dawn:

Have you looked at this?

Ian:

No

Dawn points and gestures to the passport.

Dawn:

I think you ought to get this done properly

Ian looks confused

because I don't think scribbling your surname out with perminent marker really counts as official documentation.

Ian:

What?

Ian looks at the passport

Dad!

Dawn:

Come on lets go, we need to put that cardigan in the wash, you whiffy monster.

Ian:

Will it be okay in your washing machine? I don't want it to shrink, me and this cardigan have been through a lot

Dawn:

We all have Ian, all three of us

Dawn links arms with Ian and they walk off in to the distance, they carry on talking

Ian:

I think I might donate sperm one day.

Dawn:

Like Zzabur?

Ian:

Yeah

Dawn:

I think it best you don't Ian

Ian:

Really?

Dawn:

More trouble than it's worth, you find yourself a nice lady and make yourself a beautiful family, Auntie Dawn will come round to visit.

Ian:

That'd be nice.

Dawn:

I know

Ian:

I've enjoyed doing all this you know, it's been an adventure, it'd make a great movie.

Dawn:

Yeah it would, who'd play you?

Ian:

Neil Edmond

Dawn:

Good call

CUT TO

Ians Passport comes up on screen with "Wollak" scribbled out with "Jones" above it.

Fade Out

last edited on 1188685553|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Dave Saunders + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Vee 1188493490|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

I like this idea, it gives a chance to get a bunch of extras in and have a party, invite the press etc, and get the car clamped outside.

Re: The last 30 seconds

Maxley 1188547748|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Right. Ford will never go for this but…

Extreme Close Up Box of matches. Zoom out. The car, windows open, in a remote field filled with paper and straw . Sellotaped to the roof is the cardboard with the drawing of the bearded dad. Pan round. Dawn and Ian are wearing horned Viking helmets.

DAWN (intoning)
I invoke Loki, god of parenthood, Odin god of travel and Thor, god of sperm. Let the flames bond us to eternal Valhalla's Halls of Fame. Like a phoenix.

IAN
Hang on. I can't get the matches to light.

DAWN
Flames. I summon you.

IAN
Nope. Not yet.

DAWN
It is time for the burning! Symbolic end and rebirth of a dynasty of Jones. The Holy Owl of the Norse…

IAN
I think the heads have got damp.

IAN unsuccessfully strikes loads of matches and flings them into the car window.

DAWN (taking off her helmet)
It's probably best. I don't think the insurance covers viking funerals.

IAN
And Snowy's been a good car, to be honest.

They get in and drive towards the gate. Smoke suddenly billows from the back seats. The car stops and DAWN and IAN get out and run. Slowly and with an absolute lack of Hollywood explosions, the car is gently consumed by fire.

last edited on 1188548006|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Maxley + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Maxley 1188548576|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Hell, let's say what we're all really thinking.

London's Grosvenor House Hotel. We see Emma, Neil and the rest of the crew at a table.

STEPHEN FRY
David, the winner?

DAVID HASSELHOFF opens the envelope
The BAFTA for best comedy writing goes to… The Where Are The Joneses Community.

The place erupts.

last edited on 1188548866|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover by Maxley + show more

Re: The last 30 seconds

Carston Whelk 1188836404|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Could this be the end of the Joneses as we know them?

Re: The last 30 seconds

The Joneses 1188836653|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Let's hope not Carston…

Re: The last 30 seconds

AdzTheHobo 1189197340|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Is it over now?

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1189205710|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

It feels as though three months ago someone bought me a little puppy. That I loved, nurtured, interacted with and hugged and occasionally the feelings were reciprocated. I saw that puppy grow and develop, it started to experiment with new things that really made me laugh, it managed to keep itself clean throughout, it didn't stoop as low as licking it's own genitalia and then kissing my face. Something that in the past I may not have shunned, but not anymore, at least not from a non humanoid.

And then one day someone picked up that puppy that had become such an intrinsic part of my life and then, whilst almost laughing in my face, dropped that poor defenseless creature right in the f**king mincer.

P.S. I realise it has finished but I do hope the other BabyCow feedbacks get posted please, was wondering if Wim Pelvus' sauce idea came from the bits I wrote about Keith Snatch.

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1189206002|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

It feels a bit like when the lights go up in the cinema, some people get up brush off the pop corn that has accumulated on their jumpers and in their beards, whereas a handful of people seem to stay riveted to their seats possibly to see who directed it. Well screw that I intend to instigate a sit in until the next feature begins.

I'm waiting…..
I'm waiting…..
I'm still waiting……

Thank you all! *sob*

Maxley 1189243037|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Dale, I'm with you re the puppy-nurturing. However I once actually fed a springer spaniel into a mincer so can say with all honesty that you do get over it. Just give it time.

Can I say huge thanks to everyone connected with Where Are The Joneses? I have loved every second of it and I don't quite know what to do now it's over. Perhaps we should form an online Jones survivors group - there have been enough hugely talented people contributing here to create something else, definitely.

Any takers?

Re: Thank you all! *sob*

DaleGriffiths 1189243672|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Maybe we should carry on writing scripts for the Joneses anyway. I mean what happens next? Does Ian go back to Coventry and live in Dawn's box room? Does Cherry finally get her much deserved comeuppance? Who is the dad anyway?

Frasier didn't die after leaving cheers he went on to produce one of my favourite comedy shows.

By the way if it gets commissioned can I play Dawn, I think I'd look great in a dress and all that gorgeous blond hair, phwwaarrrrr…..now stop it.

Re: The last 30 seconds

bhercules 1189290073|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Is it wrong that I find myself beguiled by a serial murderer?

P.S. Well done on the comedy and all of that, but seriously, when the keyboard sounds came up on the film and it said amongst other things "I like being an only child" scared the bejeezus out of me. Well done.

Re: The last 30 seconds

conley 1189354574|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

I feel a little in the dark. Is that the end of season 1? Is anyone else interested in sponsering it? Is Ford up for another round? Can I buy a DVD?

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1189506802|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

I think the last show was great but I think it might need a re-edit. It needs to stay as it is as the cliff hanger is wonderful but I think it needs to end on them looking at each other then roll credits, I would like to know all the actors names who starred in this show as they were a very important part of the show I don't want to be going "Hold on that Roy, he's that bloke off Alan Partridge!" ( I know it's Simon Greenall, but some people might not)

Then after the credits roll…

Dawn:

I wasn't suprised

Then the thing, y' know the thing with the thing.

Just some thoughts that might get rid of subconscious frustration.

DS

Re: The last 30 seconds

NEdmond 1189522595|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Hello.

Yes - I agree. I'd quite like it to've had 'The End…' or something similar.

We did try to get a couple of post-credit sequences in during earlier episodes, but
it was considered important ot have the logo, etc as the final image.

Here's a list of (most of) the guest actors:

Dawn Jones - Emma Fryer
Ian Wallock-Jones - Neil Edmond
Roger Logg-Jones - James Rawlings
Not Jean Jamboneau - Tom Meeten
Parisian Artist - Barunka O'Shaughnessy
Angel Saltamentes - Joan Kempson
Carston Whelk-Jones - Steve Oram
Roy - Simon Greenall
Zzabur Cerebus-Jones - Peter Slater
Wim Pelvus-Jones - Ken Collard
Tina Fromoslo-Jones - Jo Neary
Cherry Ledojo-Jones - Lisa Fryer

Jonti & Michael are MYSTERIOUS.

Quite strange to be snooping here without digging through people's scripts. Thanks for all your contributions, by the way.

Many cheers,

Neil

Re: The last 30 seconds

Dave Saunders 1189528245|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Cheers Neil. :o)

Re: The last 30 seconds

DaleGriffiths 1189537551|%e %b %Y, %H:%M %Z|agohover

Yeah cheers Neil. It's weird that we all keep checking back to the forum, I can't help myself. It feels like we are hanging about after last orders has been called but no one has asked us to start drinking up quite yet or gone 'come on ladies and gents this is not a night club'.

Talking of drinking if anyone is in London on Friday come for a beer at the Dover Castle, 43, Weymouth Mews, London, W1G 7EH I'll be there from 5pm until the early hours and we can drink and do lots of cud chewing re: the show. ha ha.